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Writer's pictureStuart Grant

Pyjama Party!

Mr V and I have special plans this weekend and not even the sexy kind. As soon as he told me he wasn’t working I said “Oh good, can we spend the whole weekend in our tartan lounge pants?” “Yes,” he replied, “but I did promise granny and grandad we’d visit them.” “Well surely we can still wear our tartan lounge pants to go to granny’s?!” “Alright,” agreed Mr V, “and we will make grandad wear his tartan lounge pants so we can be a tartan lounge pants family.” So granny and grandad don’t know it yet but we’re going round to theirs for a pyjama party.

What is the etiquette for inviting yourself to someone else’s house for a pyjama party? Should we bring a bottle or just slippers? Granny is quite proper and does mad things like get dressed even though she’s retired. Should we compromise and make her wear a dressing gown over her clothes? And of course the most important question is – do I have to wear a bra or can I just tuck my boobs into my waistband and go as I am?

Grandad hasn’t worn his tartan lounge pants yet. As part of our plan to convert the world to tartan lounge pants we bought him some for Christmas. He tried them on and put them away, saying “there is a time and a place for tartan lounge pants.” I’m not sure what this means but I am starting to suspect he is not a fully committed tartan lounge pant wearer. I asked if it was because he was worried that granny would find him too irresistible and chase him Benny Hill style round the coffee table. I certainly hope this doesn’t happen at the weekend. If one of them puts a hip out I am not rolling up to A&E in tartan lounge pants and explaining to a doctor that we were all having a pyjama party! Worst case scenario, I will say it was granny’s idea 🥳

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