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Writer's pictureStuart Grant

Happy Wineday

It’s Wineday, yay! Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Almost Wineday, Wineday, A Bit More Wineday, Sunday. I’ve been to see the careers officer. Fortunately cherub 2 turned up and dealt admirably with the blow that most jobs require you to get out of bed in the morning. I bounced around enthusiastically, pretending I was a mother who cares about her cherub’s future and not someone who was just there to ask if cake tester is a real job. “Or what about cocktail checker? Gin analyst? Wine taster! You can’t say that’s not a real job!”

Cherub 2 is mostly used to me by now so, as soon as we got out of there, he parked me in a coffee shop with cake and went off to get his hair cut. I told him to unblock me on his phone so I didn’t lose him (he didn’t lose me?) in town. He clearly hasn’t done it yet because he hasn’t noticed that I texted “bums” to him 50 times just to annoy him when he finally does unblock me. Beep beep bums, beep beep bums…😉

My first stop, before coffee, was the loo. I caught sight of myself in the mirror and realised that I was one of the people about whom I say “I can’t believe she looked at herself in the mirror in that outfit and thought that looks grand!” I am a vision in pink flowery dress, black trousers and a green and yellow tartan coat. The hair is looking particularly startled this afternoon. All the way to the coffee shop I delivered a monologue to cherub 2 about how nice and polite the people we met were. I’ve just realised they probably felt sorry for me!! Or maybe they felt worse for cherub 2, marching along with a wee tartan fur ball in tow.

Anyway, that’s me almost done with excellent parenting for the day. Mr V has just phoned to remind me of ‘The 100 Things Which Must Be Done Before You Can Relax’. In a final burst of being a brilliant mother I have bribed the cherubs to do them. Happy Wineday 🥂

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