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Writer's pictureStuart Grant

Brain Gremlins and Knob Goblins


The house poltergeist has eaten all the Jaffa Cakes! And left the empty wrapper right next to my laptop! How did that happen?!

I’ve been trying to put together boxes. Thought I’d be clever and order those letterbox boxes to post signed copies of my books out to all the folk who helped me get Losers Club published. More recyclable than a padded envelope. Nice, simple solution. Except the boxes came flat-packed with no instructions!

I asked the brain gremlins for help and they suggested a large glass of wine. As it was only 11am, I eschewed the wine and gave the poltergeist permission to help herself to a packet of Jaffa Cakes instead. Then I got folding along the marked lines.

Mr V came downstairs to find me muttering darkly about knob goblins who mark lines in stuff that won’t fold along the effing lines. He grabbed a box and folded it neatly along the effing lines. Turned out I’d been folding backwards when I should have folded forwards.

‘Well, you need a degree in origami to do this nonsense,’ I complained.

‘No,’ he told me, ‘you just need a degree of common sense.’

For once, he was right. Which was very annoying. I was quite glad the poltergeist ate his Jaffa Cakes.

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